Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
