woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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