No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
