I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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