A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
