Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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