paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
