He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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