We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
