This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
