Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
