My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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