Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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