Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
