I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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