Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
