I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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