i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
