Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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