Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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