Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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