what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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