i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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