i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
