so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
