I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
