I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
