Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
