If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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