Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
