He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
