Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
