lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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