I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
