Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
