You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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