This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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