I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
