its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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