my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
