I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
