So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
