i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
