I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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