that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
