There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
