He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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