He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
