i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
