wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
