How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
