Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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