By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
