I just made out with a guy for $7.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
