No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
