I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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