Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
