my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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