It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
